rolandroms's Xanga

UGH

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 13:21:55 GMT

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12 september 2007, 20.20

uhm, you think i'm into you?
sorry, i'm not that kind of guy.

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copyright © 2007 by romel r. saplaco. all rights reserved.
do not use without permission.

MILENYOW

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 09:53:00 GMT

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09 august 2007, 17.34

i can't take it anymore,
so i just run away and hide
but just when i thought it was safe outside,
the tide kept rising to unnatural heights

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copyright © 2007 by romel r. saplaco. all rights reserved.
do not use without permission.

KNOW. DO.

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 04:42:00 GMT

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24 july 2007, 13.38

the opposite of love isn't hate;
it's indifference.

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copyright © 2007 by romel r. saplaco. all rights reserved.
do not use without permission.

BROKEN TOY

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 06:28:41 GMT

12 june 2007, 15.25

when someone who has lost all hope comes to you for a talk, what do you tell him?

when he has not just heard it all but truthfully applied them all and yet at the end of his day he still came back full circle, what do you tell him?

when he just goes on doing all the things supposedly real to him for lack of a better thing that works, what do you tell him?

when he has gone beyond discouragement and disappointment to just plain handicapped emptiness, what do you tell him?

when anger and frustration have passed and only a painful cry for truth remains, what do you tell him?

god, what do you tell him?

=====
copyright © 2007 by romel r. saplaco. all rights reserved.
do not use without permission.

NOTE TO SELF

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 11:18:39 GMT

03 june 2007, 20.20

self, do you think you are earth's axis? really, is life all about you? the reason why the continuum of events occurring in succession leading from the past to the present and even into the future¹ is called history, is because life is HIS story (and advocates of feminism, please don't even make this matter about you, again. the focus is not male or female, but god.)

follow your heart? crap. the heart will only deceive you. reprogram your mind to follow god - he didn't give you a brilliant set of circuitry just to watch it all go to waste.

be true to yourself? unimpressive. your best doesn't come out when you're true to yourself. no, nothing much really comes out of it. instead, let god be true in your self.

so self, stop and think. is life revolving around you, with god as just another high-profile "comfort gadget" expected to give you everything? is god just in the center of everything, or is HE everything? is he your beginning, substance and end? do you hang on to his every breath?

¹ (google define, 2007)

=====
copyright © 2007 by romel r. saplaco. all rights reserved.
do not use without permission.

CRUSH

Tue, 22 May 2007 01:32:58 GMT

22may 2007, 10.28

see ya blowin' me a kiss
it doesn't take a scientist
to understand what's going on baby
if you see something in my eye
let's not over analyze
don't go too deep with it baby

so let it be what it'll be
don't make a fuss and get crazy over you and me
here's what i do, i play it loose
not like we have a date with destiny

it's just a little crush
not like i faint everytime we touch
it's just some little thing
not like everything i do depends on you

it's raising my adrenaline
you're bangin' on a heart of tin
please don't make too much of it baby
say the word forevermore
that's not what i'm looking for
all i can commit to is maybe

vanilla skies, white picket fences in your eyes
a vision of you and me

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copyright © 1998 by jennifer paige. all rights reserved.

RAIN DOWN

Mon, 21 May 2007 05:46:48 GMT

21 may 2007, 14.41

everything's still.

the sky darkens.

the wind blows cold.

one,

then two --

drops hit the ground. slowly, but steadily quickening...

then it comes.

the water pours down. it flows on my face, down my neck and to my feet; running through my skin, sliding through my hair, swirling down my arms, smoothing over my limbs, tracing my contours, outlining my body, cooling down my insides, untying my knots. i cry for more, in torrents it comes. pounding on my head, whipping at my back; i stretch out my arms, and the wildly wet wind carries them upward, pulls them to the ground, sloshing water all over me... i lift my voice in joy, i shout my lungs out and scream, i grin freakingly in discontent, wave sheepishly in childlikeness. the rainstorm drowns me, quiets me, provokes me, drives me, pushes me, pulls me back, taunts me, makes me smile... the water cleanses my lips, runs down my cheek, crosses my chest and drives through me to my foot and floods everything in and around me. i jump up and hit the thick curtains of clear liquid, as i hit the ground on my feet, throwing water all around me, surrounding me, pulling me down the quicksand, yet pushing me out of the ground. i hear everything, and listen to nothing. lightning streaks madly across the sky as the inevitable clap of thunder fills the air with such sweet music. my hands flail with the water, fingers grasping each drop as they play with the current and open up to let the waters go. the rain keeps on, falls heavily, kissing me lightly, punishing me harshly, rewarding me fully, emptying me totally. still i cry out for more, and still it comes. down. pouring more. and still more. i drown myself in the rain, the wind, the pain, the storm, the stirring, the whirring, the whipping, the crowning, the flowing, the hitting, the soothing, the painless chill, 'til i can't find myself, yet i'm standing there, holding on to my sides. i see myself, but i can't make out my tears from the rain, i have become one with it, yet broken into pieces that all drained out of me into the ground.

and as carefree as it came, it stopped.
it left -- without me.
leaving me dripping,
wanting...
waiting..

i flowed with the water, flew with the wind
my feet lifted me up, but my head pinned me down.
i dissolved, and reformed; i was destroyed, but i can't go back.

i'm happy. i think.

the rain has changed me.

i think.

it has chained me.

i looked,

but there

was no

sun.

good.

=====
copyright © 2007 by romel r. saplaco. all rights reserved.
do not use without permission.

BLOODY HELL

Fri, 18 May 2007 12:53:42 GMT

18 may 2007, 21.47

i looked -
and there i found a red mass,
pumping relentlessly against the floor...

it was ugly, it stunk.
it was real.
it was mine.

puffing itself up against him,
hurling obnoxious issues aimlessly,
"it's your fault!"

scathing accusations from blown-up pains
hypocritically stoking the unhurt hurt

so absorbed with the self
so taken-up with what it wants,
what i want:

i - the center of the universe;
as if everyone revolved around me - even him.

and as the light hit it on the pavement -
thrown up, abandoned,
its manic eyes pouncing ever deeply into anyone who dares look...

a horrific grin broke its charred lips,
as it showed itself, mighty proud

and

it was ugly, it stunk.
it was mine.

CAIN IS

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 06:49:57 GMT

29 april 2007, 15.41

hmm...
kainis...

ang inis ay talo.
kaya wag maiinis.
para panalo.

ang pikon pangit.
kaya wag pikon.
para gwapo.

ang asar pinapatay.
kaya wag asar.
para buhay.

(hehe... this is my first poem in filipino! aughsum...!)

PLACE IN THIS WORLD

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 04:26:07 GMT

20 april 2007, 03.53

"Their cries... ascended to God. God listened to their groanings... God [never forgot] His [promise]... God saw what was going on... God understood." Exodus 2.23-25 (MSG)

hey sojourner, your circumstances do not determine the sovereignty of god. trust his word over your feelings. separate emotions from truth. see, there are no right or wrong emotions, all these are understood by god. he may or may not agree with what you feel, but he perfectly understands them all. however, it's that very property of emotions (being neither right or wrong) that invalidates them to be the basis of anything, much less decisions/indications of god's relationship with you.

that's why when you look at elijah and david, god allowed them to pour out their emotions to him, he didn't invalidate what they felt, but at the same time he did not use it as a basis of dealing with them. he just allowed them to vent it all out, and then what he did next is what should catch our attention - he washed them over with the truth when they were already sober from their bout of emotion.

he told/corrected elijah that there were still a lot of worshipers of god, he rebuked him to go back to what he's supposed to be doing all along as a prophet. he talked to david and reminded him of his identity in him, such that what he did cannot be tolerated but at the same time god assured him of his presence always.

so god is always there guarding you in his hands, knowing perfectly how everything he made works - not primarily for you, but really for him. you can ask from him to fill your personal time with each other with a greater and deeper revelation of himself to you, and you can always expect a "yes" to that prayer.

keep on keeping on, because the master is at work in his best craft - running the lives of everyone and everything surrendered to him - and we are all created for his goals to be accomplished. life here on earth is not really about our happiness (our happiness is in heaven, life there in heaven spending face-to-face sinless time worshiping him, and enjoying everything he has prepared for us). no, life here on earth is all about his happiness to see what he wants done done. and when you see it this way, you'll know that life here on earth is just a teeny tiny bit of time compared to eternity that we'll spend in heaven with him - just a bit of time for us to worry about his happiness here on earth, and the whole endless, nonterminating, forever forever time that he's taken care of our happiness with him there in heaven.

so as we learn to flow WITH him, to really live FOR him, ABOUT him, and seek and run after what makes HIM happy, what makes HIM smile, that's where we find OUR meaning, significance, and fulfillment, the very "revelation" that we're looking for in our quiet time.

=====
copyright © 2007 by romel r. saplaco. all rights reserved.
do not use without permission.